Fri, 18 Apr 1997

Dear Mr. Wonderful,

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? And who would he chuck it at?

Lov,

the Thing in the Shadows

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Dear Bedlurker,

Ah, the perennial questions of philosophy! How they continue to intrigue and confound over the centuries.... In China, the question is phrased, "How much foo would a foodang dang if a foodang could dang foo?" and in Romania they ask, "Where's my thermometer?" but it all means the same thing. Where mankind goes, goes the woodchuck.

For a complete discussion of the metaphorical and theological implications of the woodchuck, see any book by Joseph Campbell. As this is actually an ancient Zen problem, the answer in the physical realm is of course only to be found in another question, to wit: "How much wool could a woolery chuck if Chuck Woolery could chuck wool?"

Meditate on that and see where it gets ya.

As to your follow-up question, my gut instinct tells me the answer is Woody.

MI$TER WONDERFUL ON FIRE!

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