Thu, 30 Apr 1998
My dearest Wonderful,
My roomate and I were sitting around the living room one evening, throwing back some homemade brew and up pops a conversation regarding the pros and pitfalls of cloning human bodies without brains so that when Auntie Mable trips and breaks off her foot she can just zip down to the quickie body mart and fix her up with a new one. We disagreed, bottles started flying, and now we're calling in the experts.
What's your take?
Dear Crick and Watson,
Throw the first bottle at his face, then whip out your pistol and point it at his heart. Tell him you're taking him back to Dodge where he's gonna eat justice and like it. That's what a man's gotta do.
Anyway, your average Auntie Mable doesn't have a brain either, so this whole thing smacks of hypocritical cannibalism (the worst kind). Mister Wonderful would rather see a few tax dollars spent on developing ways to clone bodiless brains in vats so we could settle a few philosophical bets around the Lab. There's fifty bucks riding on whether we can convince one it's God.
The world could use a few more brains, especially if they didn't have fingers with access to Nuclear Launch Buttons. The world doesn't really have a use for long-lived rich old people.