Wed, 14 Jan 2004
Dear Mister Wonderful,
A friend and I were getting tickets for a concert and happened upon a Sci Fi convention in another part of the same building. As we watched the Romulans and Klingons and Princess Leia and the storm troopers (who seemed, in truth, a little short) we came up with some important questions for you:
1. If Yoda and Q got in a fight, who would win?
2. Or, if that's too easy, if the whole force of Jedi Knights got into a fight with Q, who would win?(Some thought Yoda wouldn't have a chance on his own.)
3. If the Star TREK fans at a convention got into a fight with the Star WARS fans, who would win?
4. How come nobody dresses as Vogons for these things?
Oh, dearie, dearie me... better tighten the buttons on my old labcoat here; I'm afraid my geek is showing.
1. Yoda and Q, inarguably the most intelligent and powerful characters in their respective series, would most likely retire to the hotel bar and share Slash fiction stories of Wet Wesley and Lubricated Luke. If they had to fight (because the Organians had run out of Gorn), it is likely that Q would win, a millisecond after blinking and turning Yoda back into Grover.
2. The entirety of the Jedi Knights assembled might be able to defeat Q if he fell over on his ass laughing at their biologically absurd "species" designs. Dude, all those tuber things coming off their heads are probably cancerous.
3. Star Wars fans are younger and quicker, but more gullible. Star Trek fans are in the upper weight division, but have recently come to question their faith. (Et tu, Enterprise?) The Trek fans have got Klingons on leave from the Renn Faire in their corner, but the Star Warriors can bean them in the latex head with prop Thermal Detonators. I'd say the real winners here would be the Doctor Who fans, smothering the wounded with their giant scarves.
4. Vogons are single-minded, selfish, horribly bloated creatures with terrible skin conditions that write bad poetry. Everyone goes to the convention as a Vogon.