Mon, 09 Nov 1998
A different sort of request. Please give Bob Kane (who shuffled off this mortal coil Tuesday) a fitting eulogy. I can think of no one more qualified.
Dear Bearer of Bat Tidings,
Let's see, how do we honor this hack artist? This man of little talent who stole from the best and ripped off his partners like Bill Finger to no end? Who became a corporate whore when other giants of the industry were fighting for artist's rights? Who doesn't deserve the credit for inventing Batman or any other character, and certainly isn't responsible for the current popularity of the icon? Take it away, Misters Dark and Malice....
Malice: This rotting corpse once held the life spirit of a man with a dream. Now he is dead and that life spirit is dissipated, the dream being eaten by worms. The same will happen to all of you and there is nothing you can do to prevent it. No one will save you. No man in black, no hero on a wire. There are gulfs of eternity on either side of your fragile existence and they care not for you. Here is the proof.
Dark: I have note here from Frank Miller (authour of The Dark Knight Returns), who could not attend due to an illness. I believe the sentiment of it can best be summed up as "Fuck you, you old man, I'm glad you're dead. If it wasn't for me there never would have been that movie! I took your pathetic drip in tights and made a god! A god! I wish I could dig you up and bugger your dead corpse with a batarang! I've got more talent in my syphillitic dick than you had in your whole fanboy body! I'd draw a picture of Bruce Wayne celebrating with a glass of champagne and pissing on your grave but I wouldn't want to waste the ink. Stay dead and go to hell."
What can one add to such moving words except, "Yes, and that goes twice for your momma."