Fri, 07 Mar 2003

Dear Mr. Wonderful

Why do dogs cock their heads at an angle when they are listening intently to something?


Johann Dobermann


Dear Nipper,

I doubt very much that dogs do anything intently. They most likely cock their heads because they're searching around for a free drink. I know I am.

It's not like dogs have to get up for work in the morning. They can show up in the middle of the afternoon, wearing yesterday's fur, put on a sloppy grin and say, "I been huntin' pussy all day, how 'bout you?" and they won't get fired. Their union is that strong. If I tried that I'd get a promotion, but that's because I own the company and one of these little cabana boys who call themselves staff had better be on the doubling with that next Mai Tai, or there won't be any St. Patrick's Day Bonus under the clover.

I swear. Some days it's like trying to get decent blueberry bagel at the Reichstag.

German Shepherds, now there's a dog that likes to drink. Just like the cops they narc for. The English call them Alsatians. Not the cops, the German Shepherds. They call their cops "teletubbies."

Hey, if it's any consolation, consider this: that's the same angle at which your head tilts when you're looking at a friend's bookshelves. Yeah. Probably one of them coincidences.

WONDERFUL LABS - Half The Fun Is Wondering What We're On