Fri, 17 Sep 1999

Dear Mr Wonderful,

What is your take on OS's? I mean, do you bow down to the evil GatesReich, or are you one of those "Oooooh, yummy, it's PURPLE" Mac users, or "My GOD the SUN-OS has landed" types, or <taking slide-rule out of pocket protector> "Linux, OS of the hacker" people? What do you use at home? What would you use if you had your choice?

Captain OS


Dear Martin Luger,

I want it known that I am answering this query under protest. Most clothed primates feel stronger loyalty towards their Operating System than their religious affiliation. No matter what I say here, I shouldn't be surprised if I find myself stripped naked, tied to a bed, and flogged. I put a deposit down and these people have a very good reputation.

Anyway, I do not enjoy writing on these topics that will get people all riled up. The nation's rile content has risen dramatically over the last fifty years, leading some to wonder if it is causing a hole in the Belkraften Layer (a thick layer of gasses in the lower atmosphere that prevents totally fucking stupid ideas fom hitting the human brain). Others say that this rise in rile is a normal fluctuation and that the trend for the past several centuries has been down, meaning that we may be threatened with a Peace Age, much like the one that crushed human innovation ten thousand years ago.

For a far better analyisis of the intricacies of the Operating System culture wars than, "Aye, I remember...It was '95 and we'd just stormed the Starbucks in Cupertino...." please read "In The Beginning Was The Command Line" by Neal Stephenson. He is, of course, biased in a really obvious and whiny namby-pamby way because he once lost a big file, boo-hoo (and of course he blames it on the Operating System, not his loser techie friends - who might, just might, have screwed things up more, but that's just me talking, I wasn't there), but he does use an amusing analogy which includes the Batmobile.

Well, you're all tired of discussing this by now, so I'll let you go.

Oh, all right. Mister Wonderful likes control. He likes an operating system that allows him to do his thing, his way. He also has a life. He doesn't want to have to do every little thing for himself, all the time. He chooses the Middle Path. There is your answer, o seeker.