Fri, 15 Aug 2003
What are we to make of the news that Chinese scientists have created human-rabbit hybrid embryos? Are we looking at potential clever, cute little Watership Down rabbits, or something more ghoulishly human, like Harvey or Frank?
Also, will they inherit the human propensity to carry rabbit feet or the rabbit propensity to have rabbit feet?
A Mildly Concerned Human
Dear Elmer Fudd,
Ah, science..."Hey Rocky, watch me pull this human-rabbit embryo out of my hat!"
"Again? That trick never works."
"This time for sure! We used foreskins!"
What are we to make of this amazing Sino-Lepus development? Well, it makes me a little jumpy.
Ha! And we thought of that joke after only four hours of drinking coffee and watching Donnie Darko. Let it not be said that Wonderful Labs goes off half-cocked with a cheap joke about a new flavor for Kung Pao Chicken.
No, we go for the full cock every time. And you all know what that tastes like.
Rooster. It's a little more gamey.
Wonderful Labs once tried to create a hybrid between grey alien and a fallen angel, but all we got was David Bowie. I imagine that a human-rabbit brought to full term would yield something along the lines of Nathan Lane. Only with a waistcoat.
As a completely fake scientist, my fear is that such beings would fuse the worst traits of both species and just fuck things up faster.