Sat, 07 Jul 2001

Dear Mr. Wonderful,

Please be honest with me.

Is it really necessary for us women to go through the torture of getting waxed "down there" just so our pubes don't hang out of our bathing suits? I, for one, don't think it's worth it. It's irritating enough to my skin just to shave my armpits, for Christ's sake.

But I get self-conscious during make-out sessions that men won't find my crotch that attractive if I don't "trim" it. And I don't. So I just push their hands away from that area.

God- I can't believe I'm asking you this. But I know you'll be honest. Then I might really think you're an asshole, but it'll be worth it.



Dear Muffled,

Waxing is never necessary, my dear. That area should only be follicle-free due to tongue friction.

A true man will appreciate any crotch he is lucky enough to be in a position to appreciate. Have no fear of rejection. On the off-chance you are dating a cad who demands that you be shaved or otherwise depilated, do not hesitate to reciprocate: Tell him that only smooth balls can play on your felt.

Women should look like humans, not sculpted plastic dolphins with tits. Anybody complains, you tell 'em to come see me and I'll give 'em what for.