Fri, 07 Dec 2001

Dear Mister Wonderful,

There's this yellow cat at my friend's house. The cat is getting old, and though he's been neutered for years, the cat is amazingly horny. It spends a lot of time doing this, ahem, "mating dance" on top of a sheep-shaped pillow on the sofa. Sometimes it gets bored with the sheep and climbs on top of the long-suffering dog to do his . . . dance.

My question is this: Is it bestiality when it's two beasts?

Thanks,

Wild Kingdom

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Dear Mutual of Oh-oh-omaha,

Oh yeah, like humans aren't beasts.

Believe me. I once crossed the United States by Greyhound Bus.

Mister Dark is our resident expert on felines and feline behavior. He had this to say: "What are you doing in here? Do you see the black light? Do you see this spleen? I am working. I have told you before that this behavior violates our agreement - assume the position, Boy Blunder."

So I think we all agree that, as a matter of definition, both inter- and intra-species sex of any sort is bestial.

As to whether it's kinky, that depends on if the dog has a collar.

THE QUEEN IS WONDERFUL

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