Sun, 05 May 2002

Dear Mister Wonderful,

My roommate showed me this article in a women's magazine about how to cut your workload by 25%. What they suggested was to make your to-do list into a 2-by-2 grid. Along one axis the titles would be: "Want to Do" and "Don't Want to Do," while the other axis would be labeled "Have to Do" and “Don't Have To Do."

The theory is that if you sort your chores this way, you'll identify things that fall into both the "Don't Have To" and "Don't Want To" categories and you can then ignore these things and have less responsibilities.

Well, I tried it, and could not think of a single thing that fit into the realm of "Don't Want To" and "Don't Have To" at the same time. What DID happen is that I thought of a lot of things that I want to do that I really don't have to, and thereby increased the overall content of my to-do list by about 25%.

Should I sue Women's Day magazine for making my life that much harder?

And why do they design their publication as if it were a Girl Scout handbook?

Yours Sincerely,

Disillusioned in Manassas, VA


Dear Clockstoppers,

How would you even become aware of something you didn't have to and didn't want to do? Like you're supposed to sense... what? "This is a relief! Now I won't have to schedule firebombing my own car, strangling the cat with Slinkies, picking up lint from the government, or changing the Earth's rotation!"

You know, Mister Wonderful made a list of things to do today; only to make it interesting I fingerpainted the items in chocolate syrup, and here's what I learned: sometimes the organizing can add hours to your schedule.

Finally Miss Yakamoto said she had to get the dress to a dry cleaners and besides, "you better go write the advice column before all the funny runs out." I have no idea what she meant by that.

Don't bother suing Women's Day. They haven't made a dime since 1968. The whole staff is just two Jewish guys in their sixties sitting around recycling articles with an old mimeograph. They do it for the kicks, man. The kicks.

Mister Wonderful suggests you make your life easier by getting kissed 25% more often. Dammit, make the time.