Mon, 14 Feb 2000
Dear Mr Wonderful,
Why did the Scottish start using plaid patterns?
The Duke of Argyle
Dear Bruce MacBruce,
Why, to camouflage themselves from their enemies, the English, should the English ever choose to chase them into a shop full of plaid goods.
This dazzling maneuver was only once performed successfully, by a certain Angus MacLeod of you know the rest, the famous liar and sheep swallower who had taunted a mob of English soldiers into a foppish rage one haggis-soaked afternoon, and who, by chance, was also the largest tartan manufacturer in Aberdeen. Reports of the miraculous escape soon spread to golf course after golf course, all the way from the Minch to the Firth of Forth.
Orders for the fantastic English-deceiving fabric poured in; to keep up with the demand, MacLeod’s seamstresses had to stop sewing up the trouser legs.
MICE AND MEN AFT GANG WONDERFUL
Fun London Fact #4: It is easier to slip down mossy steps and fall into the Thames with a broken neck than you might think.