Mon, 26 Aug 2002

Mr. Wonderful,

I'm a culinary student working hard to someday be a great Chef. One of my class assignments recently was to make an aioli (flavored mayonnaise) using ingredients from a heritage that belongs to someone who is close to me. My wife is from Polish stock so I used ingredients that are native to Poland. I triumphantly named my aioli "Polinaise". Much to my surprise though, "Polinaise" already exists. It exists not in food form but rather as the name given to a stately Polish dance.

What can I call my aioli and what does this Polish dance look like?

Thanks for your help,

The Confused Chef


Dear Scrambled Yeggs,

Y'know fellas, as you get older, you should really consult a doctor about your aioli. It may be a little uncomfortable at first, but statistics show 15-33% of you will get to like it.

Provided they use enough oil.

"Pol-i-naise," by the by, you can keep. "Pol-o-naise" is the dance, and it is performed by letting Germany walk all over you - then you switch partners and Russia puts a boot to your neck.

If you really want to wet some whistles, however, call your mayonnaise "Pole Sauce." What? What's wrong with that? Dan Savage uses it all the time.

Miss Yakamoto is the person closest to me at the moment, and not just because she has the flamethrower trained on the door. She's of Scots descent, which means my aioli recipe would be:

1 (one) bottle of whiskey,


et voila --> Highlandaise sauce. It's brilliant on BLT sandwiches, provided you leave it off the sandwich.