Thu, 18 Mar 2004
If you, Mr. Wonderful, actually met Samuel Clemens, would you become friends or enemies?
The Love Boat
Dear Becky Thatchmaker,
More urgently, would his mustache try to eat my beard? I'm not taking any chances, not after that incident with Tom Selleck.
Mister Clemens and I would likely have gotten along quite well, at least initially. We were both born under auspicious celestial signs (him: Haley's Comet me: The Silver Star Brewery main gate), we both enjoy writing as a way to avoid heavy lifting, we both believe that the government that governs best governs with its pants off, and we've both been banned in Boston.
However! I think our friendship would end suddenly, tragically, violently and with a number of other adverbs when he grew tired of me calling him "Sammyclems."