Date: Sat, 31 Jul 2004
Dear Mr. W.,
Is Charles Webb, the novelist who wrote "The Graduate," the same guy as Charles Harper Webb, the poet? If not, is there any relation?
No, I no think so. I asked Mister Dark, our resident expert on the death of the Sixties ("But they will never be able to convict me, O no..."), what he knew about the two Webbs. After removing the coffee spoon from my shoulder blade and recovering my trousers from the rooftop, I realized I might be better off consulting an encyclopedia.
Of course, Mister Malice had booby-trapped the encyclopedias. Took out half the library just by running my finger across the titles.
After a thorough decontamination scrubdown to remove the last of the booby juice, I realized it was time for a nice, relaxing array of drinks. 18 hours later, the police finally brought me down with a tranquilizer bazooka, but not before I'd crushed many of their tiny human planes in my mighty paws. APE LAW!
But enough about my work day.
There's no relation between your writer boys, for Charles Webb is a fairly common name, it seems. One of them was a Revolutionary War chappie, and another designed uncomfortable benches. Folks named their children after them in the hope that they might one day grow up to be Spider-Man villains.