March 22, 2013m but I don’t believe it
Dear Mister Wonderful,
My wife likes the idea of the bizarre pie fetish fucking.
Dear Jack Horner,
Well, when a Mommy bizarre pie and a Daddy bizarre pie have a gimp mask and love each other very much…
Or wait… did you want me to explain why your wife likes this pastry perversion? Shouldn’t you— I mean, well. Hurm. This sort of thing is why I support federal legislation on mandatory background checks before wedlock.
Dude, your wife is a Keebler Elf. Thought you knew.
Granted, her parents were kicked out of the Tree Org for thought-crimes against Ernie before she was born. Unable to afford a child, they left her at the doorstep of a Hostess bunnery. She was eventually adopted by a kindly couple from the Church of Crust (Lattice Day Saints).
Frankly, you’re lucky. I’m not saying she’s been baking her orgasms all these years, but you probably didn’t de-flour her and won’t somebody stop me before I make another hot crotch pun?